Excessive, irrational zeal.
wildly excessive or irrational devotion, dedication, or enthusiasm
Question: Is there a zeal that is irrational or excessive? Kaya nga zeal di ba?
What if ‘fanaticism’ is just a mythical excuse of the skeptics who haven’t found the reason (at least, not yet) to risk it all (literally)?
I’m about to post a while ago while thinking of all the mess I brought myself into (yeah! I’m still saying it’s my fault, but anyways) these two words: I’m sure. :)
Not a shout but a cool, statement of a fact. I am sure.
I am sure that things will work out.
I am sure of God’s rescue.
Now I’m seeing more and more how I know sooo little of who God is.
Like~ I don’t know how He’s gonna do it, I don’t know how He’s gonna work all things for my good, I don’t know how He’s gonna make me love Him again and even more and even deeper than I did in the past, I don’t know how He’s going to fulfill His purposes in my life.
But I know He’s gonna do it. I know He hasn’t stop moving. I know He hasn’t stop waiting. I know He hasn’t stop pursuing. I know He hasn’t stop working. I know He hasn’t stop believing. I know He hasn’t stop loving.
I know He didn’t stop being faithful.
God is the same.
God is still good. God is still on the throne. And God is still in love.
Then I read this words in a post made by a good friend ‘Faith is being sure.’
And it hit me. I’m sure. And that means, I am believing again. Oh yes, I’m getting healed. And it feels good. :D
Thank You Tay!
Oh words, how could you be so beautiful that you can make me feel like I’m on cloud nine?
Oh words, how can you be so encouraging that I feel like I can defeat an entire army of enemies?
Oh words, what is it in you that can light up a hope even in the midst of a bleak ruins?
But oh, how can you be so devastating at the same time that some can pierce right through my soul and makes me want to give up and surrender?
I cannot touch you but you are as real as the earth I walk on.
And I cannot deny your power. I may not bleed a single drop of blood when you’re used as a weapon against me but it is quite enough to discourage my soul.
How will I ever fight you if you become my enemy?
How will I ever ignore you if you are from somebody who matters to me?
How can I give you away with every intent true and not just mere uttering?
In choosing whom to listen to and what words to speak to me, I have yet a lot to learn.
But for now, perhaps I can somehow express how my heart is by a little play with you.
I know that I am called to be a missionary. But I am a student in a secular university.
The first time I received my calling, I thought I should quit the university education and just go to a seminary. But I wasn’t. Then I realized that I don’t need to go to a seminary to be qualified.
But in the university, instead of being isolated, I have the opportunity to experience ministry firsthand, not because it is an ‘academic requirement’ but really because it is what God wants me to do right where I am. And here, God is my personal teacher. This is the mission field I am in.
Then there came the times when I was failing academically. And I thought maybe my course has nothing to do with being a missionary.
I got a year to realize that what I want to be has definitely nothing to do with what I was studying. So I decided maybe I should shift. I found a course that I’m really interested in and it will also be relevant to missions. But when came the shifting process, I instead landed on a course I never knew existed. And I’m pleasantly surprised! It’s a course that is specializes in family! Something really close to my heart! I’m so happy. It seems God is really behind it all. I also found out that there are other courses that will be relevant to helping people (organizing, development, etc) which I could actually transfer to if ever I fail this one (but I don’t want to fail this! I want to finish this! I want to make a thesis using what’s being studied here!). I also found that there are other things I could do (that I could also study).
Then lately, I found out that my father also wants me to have a diploma. It is his fear that I become so indecisive or not firm in my decision that I end up not finishing anything.
And I also saw how a lot of my batch mates have graduated already.
Then I knew that I also wanted to graduate. It’s always a happy feeling to finish something especially if you’ve been through a lot and in the process you don’t escape growth. :)
And I also knew that I want to honor my father by finishing (and I remember that my mother wants me to finish first too and she knows what I want to become!).
Then I realized I don’t need a specific course.
I mean, to become a missionary, I don’t need a specific course.
Instead, what I need to learn (through whatever degree program I find myself in) is
faithfulness and discipline.
I will need that if I am to finish the race set before me.
And the faith that will grow and will be refined as I learn to trust God in the small things.
The time I’d spend will not be put to waste. As long as I keep on following and walking with my God.
Same goes with my work.
Until the day comes when I’ll launched. :3
After all, being a missionary is taking care of God’s most precious.